Why I Stopped Striving for a Perfectly Clean Home
This may come as a shock to some, as I write a mommy blog about keeping things tidy and organized, but I also write about motherhood and that plays a big part in this realization I have had over trying to maintain a spotless home. First of all, perfection is impossible and not something to obsess over. Second, having children, especially small children, does not bring opportunities to maintain a constant in cleanliness.
I would rather my home be comforting, welcoming and lived-in over stark, stale and spotless. This does not mean that I am allowing my kids to run around the house in muddy boots or have food fights, but I am letting them learn and experiment and explore life. There has to be a balance. This also teaches them what is right and wrong. While we may play with our toys and have them spread out across the playroom, they also know to put things away when they are done. My children are currently toddlers and are not completely cleaning up all of the toys before we move on to the next activity, but when asked to help or start to put things away, they do come forward to do so.
It is my job, as their mother, to obtain these behaviours and lead by example. I am tidying around them when things are starting to get a little out of hand or the clutter is becoming a bit much for my own mental stability. I am not sitting there on my phone while they tear apart the space by accessing every single toy they have at their fingertips. I will openly say, “okay let’s put these blocks away before we move onto the next toy” and both of my kids, ages 1 and 2 1/2, will assist me in putting a few pieces back where they belong. This does not always happen, but by them doing this a majority of the time, I can see I am doing something right by instilling responsibility for our actions into them.
I maintain a cleaning schedule not to be obsessively polished at all times, but to provide a healthy environment and home for my family. This is our safe space, our happy place, and as a housewife, a stay-at-home-mom and a homemaker, I am doing my job, putting in the work and treating this gig as if I were being paid. I have always been a hard worker in the corporate world, and that has followed me into my daily housework.
Do I ever procrastinate? Of course, but I remind myself I have responsibilities and maintain these for the greater good for myself and my family. Are there days I don’t have it in me? Absolutely! Not every task is going to be completed everyday, but I treat being a mom and wife as a career. Rather than providing financially, I am providing comfort and stability. In this current season of my life, my job is being a wife and mother first, over a maid, chef or any other hat I wear throughout my day. They all get worn, multiple times a day, but the ones I wear with the most pride, are those of being a wife and mother.
It’s not always going to be sunshine and daisies. It is ridiculous to have an expectation of perfection. It would be stripping our children of life experiences and the joy of childhood if we even attempted this. Work around the chaos, get involved in what they are finding exciting in that moment and take care of the cleaning when the timing isn’t going to interrupt them just simply being kids. Our kids watch and observe our every move, our every action, our own habits and how we handle everything. Be the example of not only maintaining the home, but creating a a lived-in space filled with love and acceptance. A house becomes a home based on how you fill it, so put in the work where needed and sit back and enjoy it as often as you can.
Melanie xoxox