My Second Breastfeeding Journey

By golly, we did it again. It is true what they say, that every child is different, every pregnancy is different, and every feeding journey can be different. I went in with the same determination as I had for feeding my son, this time with my daughter, but with much more confidence and experienced education on it all.

For those unfamiliar with my first breastfeeding experience, I encourage you to read about it here. While things can have many similarities with other times, not everything will go the same way. With our son, I struggled from the moment he was born until both my body and my mind decided to call it quits at five months. With my daughter, we made it ten and a half months before my body wasn’t satisfying her hunger any longer and instead of having her struggle and be miserable, and sacrificing my mental health, we brought that part of our journey to an end.

Fed is best, and I say this whole heartedly. Whatever you choose, or are forced into after struggles and battles, as long as your baby is fed and nourished and loved, the rest of the outside noise can stop. Mute the mental load or whatever crap outsiders looking in have to say. It is not up to them, it is not their bodies going through all this and you are the ultimate decision maker for yourself and your child. People neglect to realize what they experienced is not necessarily what you are experiencing. While some have no interest in trying, others fight the good fight to even get a couple months of breastfeeding in. At the end of the day, it is what is working for you and your journey with this new little life.

I don’t care what anyone says, the first two weeks of breastfeeding suck. Literally and figuratively. It is painful and rough and while your baby is trying to sort out how to feed, you are suffering through their learning curves. I would wince every time my daughter would latch. But it does get better, and soon it becomes second nature for both of you.

Again, in the very beginning, my daughter wasn’t gaining enough weight and it left my midwives slightly concerned. But this time around, they knew my previous experience and that I was beyond determined to do this. I would pump between feeds and put a medical tube to my nipple to encourage my baby to feed yet experience a better flow for about the first month. We did this to not confuse her with an artificial nipple. This was never easy and usually required assistance from my husband. It wasn’t for every feed, but it taught my daughter to be efficient in her feeds and soon she was doing just fine.

With this is mind, I would then get comments from some people after coming back from feeding her to say “you’re done already?”. Do not question a mother and her method of feeding, especially if that baby is happy and healthy and not malnourished. I really wish people would mind their own business sometimes.

I would pump at least once a day, or if I went to work I would take a quick break to pump so I could keep my supply up. My daughter was breastfed and had bottled breastmilk for the first ten months of her life. I was never an over producer, but I was able to produce enough to keep her content, and give her what she needed.

Around ten months old, my daughter was starting to seem frustrated after feeds and I noticed when pumping I wasn’t getting nearly as much as I used to. I started to supplement after feeds with formula. This didn’t exactly go well at first as my daughter was so used to the comfort and connection that breastfeeding offers, but she came around once she started to enjoy the feeling of a full belly again.

Let’s break the cycle of passing judgement on those who choose a different path than us. Seeing these women online with a mass oversupply of breastmilk makes us feel like we aren’t doing enough. But we see it in our children that they are content and well with what we can provide. Everyone is different in every way, including the babies who are requiring us to make these decisions for how and when they are fed. I was so unaware of how breastfeeding would feel and how to do things properly, even with all the research I did and training with midwives. Trust your instincts, feed on demand in the beginning, ask questions when you feel necessary and blur out the unasked for opinions. Build your own journey.

Melanie xoxox