Creating Personal Boundaries

This is a tough subject. One I have only familiarized myself with on a deeper level over the past few years. One that I still struggle with at times, sometimes even beat myself up for not practicing it sooner. It is also extremely hard for other to accept sometimes, especially if they don’t respect or understand boundaries at all.

This may come as a shock to some readers as I write a public blog, but I have become quite private in my personal life when it comes to social media or even general conversation. Some things are better left unsaid, or don’t need to be discussed. To then have the option of being shared with others that simply don’t need to know what was said. There is a fine line between sharing stories and information, to becoming gossip. And while some are just excited to share things and tell all, people struggle to understand that a lot is not their news to share.

Take a pregnancy for example. The couple expecting the baby would like the opportunity to share with their family and friends before making public announcements or for extended parties to know. As for baby birth announcements, it was my worst nightmare my sons name would be announced before my husband or I had the chance to share, meanwhile we wanted to enjoy our baby boy for ourselves for the first few days of his life. It was nothing personal against anyone else, but that was time we would never get to relive and it was incredibly important to us to enjoy it without interference. Some things are not for you to share until it has been made public by those directly involved. It is so nice to have so much love and excitement around something, but it is simply not others place to try and be the first or gain the “likes”.

I have quietly removed individuals from my life for reasons I do not owe any explanation on. Those individuals created those reasons, and that is enough for me to let them go peacefully and move on with my life.

I will never again allow someone to make me feel less important than them. That my opinions or lifestyle is smaller than theirs. And if someone does stir up those feelings in me and my efforts to balance the conversations or relationship go ignored, I simply don’t need them in my life. What is important to me is my family and our health. Nothing else is nearly as important. Everything else is trivial.

Now, I do have extremely cherished friendships, and those I continue to put effort and love and care into. Those have proven to be worth it. But when there is a struggle to maintain a connection or the toxic energy is stronger than anything else, it is just not worth it.

I am guilty of previously being the toxic one in my past. But luckily, that was my past and I have learned and grown so much from those times in my life. They stemmed from anxiety, depression and a lack of respect for myself. And those who have chosen to only see me in that light and refuse to know who I am today, don’t deserve to have this version of me in their lives. They are now the ones missing out.

I have created greatness and surround myself with love and share that with those who appreciate it and cherish it. The rest is just noise and unnecessary distractions.

We all make mistakes, it’s only human. It’s how we learn and grow from those mistakes that make all the difference. Some take years to see through it all, but still change and that is all that matters after the storm.

There are those who smear others names and snicker at their past indiscretions or incidents, as simple folk do, who will gossip to entertain themselves because of their own boredom in life. I for one, will not stand for it and will not be apart of it.

Life is too short to worry about those who can’t respect the boundaries you have created to ward off such nonsense. Typically, they are the reasons behind such boundaries and are jealous that you are unaffected by them any longer. They don’t deserve my hate, because that takes effort I am not willing to give.

Give yourself some grace. Have faith in your own feelings. Trust your gut. Protect your wellbeing. Set your boundaries.

Melanie xoxox