Normalize Asking for the Gifts You Actually Want

We have all been there. Someone asks you want you want for Christmas or a birthday and we give the typical answer of “I don’t know”. Yet, at the same time, when we get things we have no use for or wouldn’t have picked out for ourselves, we have to grin and say thank you and then figure out what to do with said gift.

We have all been there, excited to open this mystery item for a special occasion, and what is inside is almost disappointing because it is not something we actually desired or wanted. We may even think “do they even know me at all?”. While there are always safe bets, like candles, chocolates, wine, as a gift giver, unless you know someone’s very specific tastes, they may not enjoy what you would enjoy. Or what you thought was a great idea for someone, turns out they are quite picky on brands and products they use. I used to live by a bottle of wine, sparklingly wine or beer as a safe bet, but not everyone drinks, or people change and don’t indulge like they used to.

Flowers or house plants are always lovely and not given nearly as often as they used to, but bare in mind if they have pets at all as the list of pet safe plants is much shorter than you may guess.

Here is a noble idea, actually ask for what you want. Even the most simplistic of ideas can save you the trouble of finding this unexpected and unwanted item a new home or trying to re-gift later.

Now the thought is truly what counts, but if you are getting gifts or items that will only cause you more clutter, what is the sense in accepting something. But please don’t get these tips twisted, there is never a good reason to be rude and act awful to a gift giver. Always be gracious and kind and figure out what to do with that item later on your own time, privately.

Now, you can be as basic or get as specific as you want when mentioning what you’d actually enjoy for a gift. If you like tea, ask for a specific flavour or brand, but if you’re not picky, say that you are open to anything. If you have an allergy or dislike certain tastes, say that.

Ask for your favourite snacks or stationary or beverages. Particular products or kitchen items you could always use more of. Gifts can be things you can receive and it saves you from purchasing for yourself for a moment in time.

If you love to read, mention a particular author you enjoy or titles you have had your eye on. Make this easy for everyone involved.

I love it when someone tells me exactly what they want, what size, where to find it, here’s the link to order it online. “I saw a bunch at this particular store.” This doesn’t have to get difficult, but if you know what you want and where to find it, communicate that.

I like to look at it from a child’s eyes as well, as they have no filter. They will not be shy about saying “no, not that one, this one!”. Now as adults, we can be a lot more polite about this. And as a gift giver, it is so much nicer to see actual, genuine joy on someone’s face when they get what they really want. Instead of the awkward “Do you like it?” conversation.

If all else fails, money or gift cards are always a win. Some may argue that this can be impersonal, but what is more personal than someone getting to purchase something they actually want. Even if it is money from multiple gifts that add up to something they’ve wanted but didn’t have the money to pay for it all at once, and now they can!

All this to say, gifts can come in all shapes and sizes and forms. If money is tight and you still want to give someone a gift, get them a card and write a nice note in it. Dollar stores sell all kinds of them for $1 or less sometimes. Or make a card! Even write someone a kind note to wish them a happy birthday or greetings on a holiday. Effort is a lost art these days. So is snail mail! How awesome does it feel to get something mailed directly to you that isn’t a pizza flyer or a bill!

And if you truly do not want anything or don’t feel you need anything, ask for the persistent gift giver to donate to your favourite charity or organization on your behalf. It is a win win for everyone!

We need to normalize communication on what we truly desire. Share our interests, favourite brands or foods, dream items, for all budgets. Gifts are supposed to be special and make you happy. Not make you cringe and give you a task of what to do with this now. Gifts are to be enjoyed, not dreaded. Let’s make this enjoyable for everyone!

Melanie xoxox