Overthinker in a Mommy & Me Group
Well, we did it. My son, Calum, and I tried our very first Mommy & Me group. And while it went really well, I still came home and over analyzed every minute of our time there. Because, as a born overthinker, that is what I do.
It was like being the new kid in school, if you’ve ever experienced that, where you walk in to the classroom and everyone goes quiet and looks at you. You politely and awkwardly wave and say hi and try to hide the “deer in headlights” look in your eyes. We were greeted by the coordinator who had us sign in and we took our seats on the carpet in the circle.
Now, I want to preface that everyone in the group was lovely and kind, I was the shy awkward one. Everyone already knew each other, even though our babies are all less than a year old. And we were the ones from out of town as this was the first group I found in the short amount off time I started looking into them.
Calum, on the other hand, loved it! New toys, other babies, open space to army crawl around, and ceiling fans, his favourite thing to watch with amazement. It was a pleasure to watch him socialize and take to a group setting so easily. The moment I sat him down amongst the other babies, he was off. “Later, Mom!” So I sat there quietly for the first bit, just smiling and watching him interact. Which didn’t help my social awkwardness, but this experience wasn’t about me, this was for him.
After a little bit I did make small talk with some of the other mothers. I wasn’t expecting to find my new best friend that very day, but I was kind of hoping to bond with another mom with a little one right around Calum’s age that is more local to us. I spoke with the coordinator more than anyone else, who was so helpful and suggested other groups and activities for us to try, given where we are located.
If you have ever experienced anxiety, you’ll have an idea of where I am coming from with these uneasy feelings while trying to socialize. Internally we overthink every moment, every movement. Worry about silly things like what others must think of us, when truly, we should be thinking how cool it is these people get the honour of meeting us!
One example of a silly thing I have replayed in my head over and over, for literally no reasonable reason, was when I was asked how old my son was, I responded with 7 and a half months. I have never, not once, used a half in a response to his age, even if that changed in a day or so. Why did I choose now to add that in? Oh and I didn’t just say it once, I said it a couple times. Where did that come from?
Again, totally silly and my husband laughs at me for it because it should be the least of my worries. I just always want to make a good impression and worry that now, I am not only doing it for me, but for my son as well.
Calum thoroughly enjoyed himself and impressed me with how he adapted so quickly to the group. We will be trying lot of new activities and play groups and play dates and we will go back to this Mommy & Me group as well. I hope I can ease into these things a little more as we try more and more new things, because again, this is all for him.
At the end of the day, I want my son to have a diverse and full life of experiences and memories. I will get over my awkwardness and tuck away my anxieties to make sure that happens.
Melanie xoxox