The 4 Things I Wish I Did Right After Birth

When the fog clears after the newborn stage of motherhood, we can all look back on our experiences and come up with things we wish we had done differently. In the first few weeks, sometimes even the first few months, we are in survival mode and doing whatever we can to keep ourselves and this new tiny human alive and well. We learn from the experience over anything else. And while each experience is unique to ourselves and to each child we bare, we should not live with regrets, but simply a will to try different things next time in the situations that didn’t quite go as planned.

Here an eye opening statement to realize, motherhood will never go as planned. That has been a huge learning curve for myself, who is a self proclaimed avid planner. We must learn to adapt, go with the flow and re-evaluate our way of thinking and doing as each day comes and goes. Some days are easier than others, but no one ever said motherhood would be easy, now did they?

In my personal experience with my first child, my son Calum, there were 4 major things I learned from the first couple weeks of having him. Now these situations are subject to my experiences, but I write this post as a open letter to anyone who may need to hear it, those who can relate, or for anyone going through the same things at this very moment.

Baby Wearing

My son was not a fan of being swaddled. We tried every which way to keep his little body contained and he would either find a way to escape, or would scream his head off. I personally lacked in skin to skin time with him, as I was so flustered in my after birth experience in the weeks that followed. I wish I had tried baby wearing right away, to gain that skin to skin contact, to have a closeness with him more often and to allow more hands free opportunities to get things done. While rest is important, for someone like me, so is accomplishing tasks, no matter how small they may be. There are so many proven benefits to baby wearing, that I strongly believe if I had incorporated this sooner, it would have made a huge difference in my day to day life with a newborn.

Timed Feedings & Dream Feeds

I am going to be raw and honest about this, I was a bit selfish in my sleep needs with my first newborn experience. If my son slept longer than 3 hours in the night, I took full advantage of it. I lacked in tracking his feeds, when I should have been more on top of ensuring it was every 2 hours for at least the first 2 weeks. Our brains lose function when your lacking sleep, but when I look back now, I think of all the things I wish I had done differently in the very beginning of my breast feeding journey and wonder if they could have made for a more enjoyable experience. For future newborns I may have, whenever that may be, I would certainly set a timer, as was recommended (I now see why that would have been so important). I would also incorporate dream feeds, which is where you feed the baby in the middle of the night, even if they don’t open their eyes. They are getting full bellies and are less likely to wake up crying when they suddenly feel the urge to feed. There is no guarantee this will work, but I am more than willing to try.

Pumping Right Away

I didn’t start pumping for breast milk until about 2 and a half weeks into my sons life. I am just curious if I had started right away, if it would have helped with my milk production. Especially if the baby decided to feed more off one breast over another, this could help with balancing the supply. Even to build a stash, breast milk is full of so many nutrients and good things for the baby, I love the idea of creating and supplying as much as I possibly can.

Medicated Nipple Cream

First time mothers who breast feed know what it is like to be learning to feed your newborn, they aren’t always latching perfectly, the constant repetition of feeding and the pain and irritation it brings to your nipples. I highly recommend purchasing an over the counter nipple cream to have on hand, but when it gets so painful, you cringe at the thought of the next feed, ask your midwife or doctor for a medicated cream. You don’t have to use it for long, but you will be grateful you have it in times of need. All I wanted was to have a beautiful breastfeeding experience with my baby, and for me, it was more of a struggle than anything. It is heartbreaking to look back on. But I know I tried everything I could and my son just had other plans and became fond of the ease of a bottle feed. Fed is best at the end of the day, I just want to try things sooner and harder with future children.

We are all doing our best. We are all trying hard, we are exhausted, sometimes hurting after child birth, sometimes mentally grasping this new life chapter we have entered. It is a lot to take on all at once. But we are all doing great. As much as I say, would have, could have, should have, my son is a happy, healthy, beautiful little boy who I wouldn’t change for the world. At the end of the day, that is all that truly matters. Being a mother tends to be a thankless job, but the reward of seeing your child smile, getting a cuddle, watching them accomplish new things each and every day, that makes it all worth it. Motherhood is beautiful, it is it’s own reward.

Melanie xoxox